Early motherhood can feel like you’re swimming in a beautiful lake, underwater, with a thin sheet of ice above your head. You crack through to come up for air before finding you are back under, once again. The water can feel calming and nourishing, but also scary and uncertain. Sometimes the temperature is perfect for you, while other times it’s shockingly cold and you’re not sure you’ll survive. You are in nature; you are nature itself. You are doing something so very wholesome but always surrounded by potential danger. When the water becomes clouded, you might lose sight of where you’re heading and have no idea if there’s anyone there to crack that ice for you and pull you out if it all gets too much. But then, over time, the weather warms and the ice melts away and it can feel like you’re free to swim around or climb out of that lake. You can come and go more easily, dip your head under the water, splash around and play, or wrap yourself in a warm fluffy towel and sit on the bank awhile, just watching.
