Firstly, it’s not just women. Men do it too.
“You’re too hairy, why don’t you wax?”
“You’re too fat, why don’t you lose weight?”
“Why don’t you want to have sex with me?”
“Stop trying to have sex with me”
“Why don’t you ever bake pies?”
“We need to eat more healthily”
“Don’t heat up olive oil, it makes it carcinogenic”
But the purpose of this post is to explore the reasons women nag – or, at least – where this generalisation comes from.
So, a few things that I nag about (sometimes internally, sometimes verbally)
1. Crumpled odd socks, coated in hair and dust, flung absentmindedly around the house
2. My fresh white underwear coming out of the washing machine a grey/lavender shade, after going in with blue cords
3. People getting up later than me
4. Not being told the plan until the last minute
5. Piss on the toilet seat
Why I nag about these things:
1. I like a nice clean, tidy home – not obsessively clean – just not a shithole. I shouldn’t need to gather someone else’s stinking socks to work towards achieving this.
2. Whites and colours need to be separated. As much as I like lavender, I don’t want my whites stained that shade.
3. This one’s unfair, I’ll admit that. I love an early morning cup of tea and a natter. Not everyone else likes this. But I just can’t understand why not.
4. I like to make my own plans. Being informed of plans at the last minute means I might a) already have plans b) not be in the mood c) (if I’m not involved in the plan) not have time to make my own arrangements.
5. I SIT on the seat. That piss soaks into my bum cheek. Men: aim properly. Women: I don’t even know HOW you wee on the seat, but sort it out.
My conclusion is that the reason I nag is because I have a preference about the way things are done. That’s also the reason I am nagged – because the other person disagrees with my way of doing things. So next time you’re whinging about how much women nag, pause and recognise that whinging is nagging too.
It’s important when sharing a space/ day/ job with other people to be open about what’s working and what’s not. But it’s absolutely imperative that if you’re going to nag someone to do something differently – you also congratulate them, give positive feedback and show your gratitude when they do get things right.
Also, if your partner/ boss/ sister/ mother likes things done a certain way, and it means more to them than it does to you – try to adjust your ways to make them feel better. We all have idiosyncrasies – if you respect other people’s, they might respect yours too.
And if women do nag more than men (though I’m not convinced that they do) it’s highly likely that it’s because they’re expected to do more of the housework and social planning. If men took on these roles with the gusto that most women do, I imagine there’d be a lot less nagging all round.
*Please note – this post is in no way related to Rich, my beau. Well, actually, he might have inspired some bullet points, but my reason for writing it was hearing yet another boring comment about how much women nag.