I switch into ‘mother’ and notice that when my attention is there, I’m good at it. Organised, patient, gentle, creative. Fully available; fully present. A current flows between me and my kids and together, we become charged. Then I plug into work and buzz. There’s an electrifying sense of connection and being of service (in a different way). Teaching grown-ups about new ways to think lights me up. But these two different focuses cause me to short-circuit. I fizz and crackle and spark. It’s harder to sleep; my patience slips away. How can I THINK when my children need me? How can I MOTHER when I have all these business thoughts whizzing through my mind? To have a single, clear focus is so powerful; it becomes everything. It’s energising; all-encompassing. But when there are two (or more) focuses? < system failure >
