I’ve got a bone to pick with Euripides
because I think he was down on the ladies
writing that part for Medea –
when it should have been written for Hades.
You see the latter was King of the Underworld:
lived in darkness and ruled the dead,
so he might have had the capacity
to cut off a child’s head.
But a woman was implicated this time
and d’you know why the story was thus?
because Medea outwitted the men folk
and Euripides took this as a cuss.
So we hear that she’s riddled with jealousy
and must spurn her husband fully
by killing his new wife and father-in-law
and then their kids too: what a bully.
But the truth is: Medea didn’t do it!
It was the Corinthians spurring Hades instead.
And yet misogynistic Euripides
said Medea left them for dead.
I think she was down at the library,
reading up on something worthwhile
to distract her from thoughts of her ex
who was long-gone and whom she reviled.
And meanwhile the evil God Hades,
swooped in to Corinthian cheer
and heroically beheaded two children
without even shedding a tear.
When Medea heard the commotion –
and saw Hades killing her boys –
her cries pierced the murderous air,
yet to him, it was just white noise.
See men might kill for a kingdom
but ladies are cunning and shrewd
and to get their own way, or seek revenge,
they use their tongues – not their fists, like dudes.
So Euripides, get with the picture!
And get over your issue with ladies –
your play’s fraught with misinformation
now let’s stick to the truth: it was Hades.
By Annie Ridout